halalbacon:

The human brain is an amazing organ. It functions 24 hours a day from the day we are born and only stops when we are taking an exam

(via waitingformywonderwall)

Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

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(Source: beautilation, via waitingformywonderwall)